Hard Goodbye
by BODYSONALWAYS
Summary: Jan Di has made a hard decision about her future. Does she have enough strength to do what she thinks is right even though it will hurt a lot of people?


DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.

Hard Goodbye

I never wanted his attention. I never wanted to be befriended by them, or brought into their group. My life, though hard and a constant struggle, was safe. I knew from the moment that I stepped upon the campus of the elite that my world was never going to be the same. I found my first love, but let him go so that he could follow his own heart. I found companionship in a Casanova and a Don Juan. They become the older brothers that I never knew that I had wanted, but very glad I found. Then there was him, Gu Joon Pyo. He came at me like a thunderstorm and try as I might to resist his charm, and love he over took me. I knew that I was going to get hurt by this love, but for the first time in my life I didn't care about what the future was going to do to me. I should have.

Joon Hee sat quietly beside me as we sat on the poolside loungers staring blankly at the still water. We haven't spoken since she found me here almost an hour ago. She was waiting for me to start, to explain why I had disappeared from school for the past week with only a vague text message as an explanation. She loved her brother, and was giving me a chance to explain why I was hurting him. I sighed deeply. I had grown to love Joon Hee as if she was my own Unnie. This wasn't going to be easy.

I dug into my backpack and pulled out an envelope and handed it to her without saying anything. I could sense her confusion as she noticed the school's emblem on the corner. She didn't open it, instead turned towards me, willing me to explain. "When I saved that young man all those years ago, I was merely a fifteen year old girl trying to make her way in the world. I didn't realize how my life was about to change. For the past three years, I've fallen in love twice, made a family out of friends, and the world became a bigger place to me. I didn't want to love your brother as much as I do. I didn't want his attention. I thought he was rude, selfish, and too dependent on his family's wealth to get what he wanted." I laughed softly. "He is still like that mostly, but his heart, the same one that he kept guarded and cold is now warm and caring. Even though I never wanted his love or attention, I never regretted that I gave into it. He made me so happy." I felt Joon Hee's confusion deeping as she kept silent. " Every since we had started dating I was always waiting...waiting for him to tire of me and throw me to the side, waiting to wake up and find out it was all a dream, and waiting to find out that this was all a cruel joke. Mostly I was just waiting for when I would get hurt. I knew that one day he was going to wake up and notice that I was of no real consequence and that I wasn't worth all the trouble he was going through with his mother." I wiped the tear that had fallen without my permission. I held up my hand as I saw her about to speak. If she started, I didn't think I would be able to finish what I had to say. I took a deep calming breath, gripped my knees, before opening my mouth.

"Two weeks ago, your mother came to my home. She offered me 5 million American dollars to stay away from Joon Pyo. Before I could refuse the money, my mother's temper got the better of her and she yelled at President Kang while kicking her out of our home. The look in your mother's eye told me that the shoe had just dropped. I was right. It was as I was getting dressed for class on Monday morning when President Kang's lawyer showed up. She had bought the building, and gave us a week to move out. So for the past week I've been working with my family to pack up our home, while trying to find a place to go. We sent Kang Je to school everyday because we didn't want him to watch us having to call friends, friends, and old employers begging for any job or a place to live, even for just a little while. Your mother put a black mark against my family. No one, even our own family, wished to get involved with that. We understood. Early this morning, however, my father's brother called back. He was able to line up work, and a small apartment for us. I dropped my parents and my brother at the airport on my way here. I leave in the morning after I finish a few things. I didn't want to tell anyone just in case some miracle we were able to stay in Seoul. But now with where we are going I doubt I will see any of you ever again." I wiped away the tears once more and took a steadying breath. " You're holding my withdrawal paperwork from school." It was those words that seemed to make it real for me. I was really leaving my home, my friends, and my life. I ignored the tears that refused to be willed away as I finally chanced a glance at Unnie. She had tears tracing her own cheeks. The moment our eyes met she pulled me into a tight hug. There in the pool room we wept together, heartbroken by the cruelty of one woman.

"I should have known that this heartache wasn't your doing. That woman. Why didn't you tell me or any of us? We could have done something. Thought of something." The anger in Joon Hee's voice soothed my soul a little knowing that someone else felt my anger and pain at the unfairness of it all. "Don't let him look for me. This is where our story has to end. It has to, or everything my family has gone through would be for nothing. Please." I pulled away so that I could stare into her dark eyes. "All I want for him is to be happy, and he can only do that if he loves again. First Loves are powerful, and you never truly get over them, but this isn't a fairytale, and we won't be getting our happily ever after. Help him to let me go, and find someone that will make him as happy and loved as he deserved. Tell them...tell all of them that I will miss them very much, more than I think someone like me ever has a right to. Unnie, I am going to miss you too. So much. I love you like my own unnie. You fought for our love and me. I can never thank you enough for that. I will never forget you." Unnie then crashed me against her chest once more. As our sobs filled the room once more we were both thankful for the lateness of the hour to ensure that we weren't disturbed. "I'm going to miss you too, Geum Jan Di. Life was more exciting with you around." Joon Hee gave a watery laugh. I returned with one of my own.

I pulled out of her grasp gently to reach inside my backpack; the same one Joon Pyo had given me years ago. I pulled out four envelopes. Her eyes began to tear up once more as she noticed the neatly scribbled names printed across the front. She nodded with a smile before taking the letters from me. For a moment I contemplated not giving them to her to pass on, but the thought quickly passed and I relinquished my hold on my words to my past. "I will pass on your messages. I promise. But know that this isn't the end of our friendships. I can't speak for the others but I refuse to let you be completely erased from my life. We will keep in contact." Her voice was soft and heartfelt given with a matched gentle smile. I gave her a smile of my own but felt in my heart that this was the end, but I didn't tell her that. "Just help him move on, please. It is my last gift to him." I stood and stared back down at Joon Hee, tears still falling from both of our eyes. "Goodbye, Joon Hee, my Unnie. I will miss you." I gave her a quick hug before I started to walk away. "Are you really not going to tell them that you are leaving? Where are you going?" I could hear the pain in her voice. It was the same pain that was reflected in my eyes. I turned back to see her standing too, her shoulders held proudly back. "I can't. They would try and convince me to stay, even offer places for me to live, or work..." "WE CAN HELP! We can protect you, and do all those things. You don't have to leave, please, Geum Jan Di, don't leave." I embraced her to stop her rant before holding her at arms length but kept my arms on her shoulders.

I stared into her eyes to show her how much my next words were going to break my own heart. "But we can't stay. I can't stay. If they asked, I would stay, and that would cause more trouble for everyone. I can't do that. My family has already given up so much for me in these past three years and I can't ask anymore of them. My family can't handle it. I can't handle it. We are already losing our home; I don't want to lose anything else. I refuse to be the cause of any more trouble for them... I love them too much. I also know how much strife my relationship with Joon Pyo has caused not only him, but also his friends and familly..." The sudden ringtone of my text message alert confused me. It took me a moment to realize that it was the ringtone I had assigned to my mother. I took one hand away from her shoulder and retrieved my phone from my pocket still in a daze from the intense moment I was just ripped from. I slid my eyes from Joon Hee's and glanced to the tiny screen.

"We've just landed. We love you.

See you in a few days. Stay safe. FIGHTING!"

I smiled at my mother's message before sighing when I remember why she would send it. We were leaving. I put my phone away before returning my hand and gaze to Joon Hee.

"I can't erase the trouble I've caused but I can make sure I don't cause more. So this has to be my goodbye." I turned away and left. My heart was hurting and begging me to run back, to stop Joon Hee from leaving and let her figure out how to fix this mess. But I couldn't, I knew if I stayed I would only get hurt further down the line, maybe even worse than I am hurting now. So I walked away slowly. The pain inside me kept building until I collapsed in front of the dry cleaner in tears. The pain, anger, and helplessness that I had felt the last week had finally caught up with me. This was really goodbye. I picked myself up and dried my tears. I may be in pain, humiliated, and brokenhearted but at least I have my family and we were staying together. That's all I really need in this world. I can weather anything this life can throw at me as long as they are by my side. This was just one more hard goodbye.

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